You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
