You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So many bounce houses so little time
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
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