he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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