I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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