YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize