im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
