Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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