My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize