Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
