Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
