Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My feet surprised me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
