I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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