Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
