Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You don't make any sense
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