I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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