did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
