So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
