she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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