did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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