i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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