the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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