I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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