I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
