You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize