We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
