Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
