Texts From Last Night

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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  ugh. my soul tastes like vodka

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  (774): ugh. my soul tastes like vodka http://tfl.nu/d0v0
  Replies (9) Good night (4279) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.

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  (715): I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win. http://tfl.nu/jyaa
  Replies (64) Good night (17067) Bad night (1406) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i used baking grease as lip gloss

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  (978): i used baking grease as lip gloss http://tfl.nu/a8ny
  Replies (18) Good night (545) Bad night (5393) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep

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  (519): i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep http://tfl.nu/4gxk
  Replies (54) Good night (7386) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.

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  (973): so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning. http://tfl.nu/luil
  Replies (65) Good night (1217) Bad night (6734) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'

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  (757): Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome' http://tfl.nu/u586
  Replies (17) Good night (4469) Bad night (845)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...

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  (403): Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees... http://tfl.nu/cx6b
  Replies (7) Good night (1941) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.

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  (402): I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out. http://tfl.nu/gdzx
  Replies (3) Good night (1875) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off

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  (360): The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off http://tfl.nu/wmpp
  Replies (4) Good night (469) Bad night (1612) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse

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  (216): Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse http://tfl.nu/es8j
  Replies (3) Good night (1208) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends

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  (440): I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends http://tfl.nu/0e7c
  Replies (22) Good night (1760) Bad night (1655) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.

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  (419): The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child. http://tfl.nu/ltf5
  Replies (17) Good night (692) Bad night (2261)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance

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  (774): omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore.... (774): HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance http://tfl.nu/0qjd
  Replies (4) Good night (1701) Bad night (521)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit

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  (845): Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit http://tfl.nu/mhw5
  Replies (9) Good night (1821) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"

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  (712): He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza" http://tfl.nu/tedt
  Replies (6) Good night (337) Bad night (997)

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