All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just googled if crying burns calories
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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