In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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