Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I intend to get homeless drunk
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
