Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though

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(917): sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though http://tfl.nu/3mr9

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(+66): View more from Thailand

She said her name was "party"

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(+66): She said her name was "party" http://tfl.nu/08y0

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.

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(808): Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber. http://tfl.nu/bjtn

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(813): View more from Florida

I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.

(407): View more from Florida

i think you have the wrong number

(813): View more from Florida

so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.

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(813): I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter. (407): i think you have the wrong number (813): so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool. http://tfl.nu/uuec

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(864): View more from South Carolina

he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple

(404): View more from Georgia

i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs

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(864): he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple (404): i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs http://tfl.nu/jk32

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(904): View more from Florida

i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents

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(904): i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents http://tfl.nu/zd1e

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.

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(508): I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week. http://tfl.nu/6t8r

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(804): View more from Virginia

my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2

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(804): my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2 http://tfl.nu/hna9

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(315): View more from New York

careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....

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(315): careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there.... http://tfl.nu/ypb5

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(702): View more from Nevada

they just started filling water ballons with vodka.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

on my way.

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(702): they just started filling water ballons with vodka. (1-702): on my way. http://tfl.nu/jo3z

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(518): View more from New York

I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.

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(518): I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments. http://tfl.nu/u4vb

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)

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(978): Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :) http://tfl.nu/2ww0

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.

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(781): Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth. http://tfl.nu/q2q1

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(720): View more from Colorado

The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?

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(720): The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer? http://tfl.nu/dm5m

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(312): View more from Illinois

There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed

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(312): There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed http://tfl.nu/ohal

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