I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...