I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
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The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
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We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.