Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.