I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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