what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize