My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we made out on top of his cat.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
