batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
