Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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