don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
