Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
