There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
