i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
