I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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