Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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