Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
