hell yes lets make some ravioli
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Shame - the story of my life.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
