Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have fence marks all over my body
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize