I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
