My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
