Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
