he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
