By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
