Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
