you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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