so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
