You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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