Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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