I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
