He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
