elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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