Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
