I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
