I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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