I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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